I

Everything

Mar 12025 HE

Nothing in this world feels more intrinsic to me than reality itself

i want to understand all this

this was my first thought when i unlocked the ability to think for myself and stopped acting out how others had programmed me till that point in my life ~ about 6 years ago

so far i haven’t come across anything in my life that felt nearly as intrinsic as reality itself

and i don’t think someting like that even exists — how could it

understanding what is, is the only logical conclusion that i can come up with when i experience being alive

and logic feels right to me, logic is what makes me feel aware in the first place, so why wouldn’t i do what it tells me to do

i experience my reality, i don’t understand it, so that’s what i feel like i have to do

and don’t they say you should follow your feelings, well that’s what mine are telling me

ig that’s true for everybody to some degree, but most ppl are just better at not caring or distracting themselves than i am, i tried that too, it did work for a while

but this didn’t stop these moments from happening, the ones that made me you realize: you don’t know shit, you are just pretending you do, but rlly u don’t – and i am so sick of pretending

i don’t understand what is and everything other than trying to change that feels fake to me